Me and a buddy of mine were out having a burger this evening when he told me about his latest date. Setup via Match.com he took a divorced mother to an expensive restaurant of her choice, they later skipped over to a semi-upscale grocery store to pick up desert from the bakery with her employee discount. She interrogated my buddy all night about his employment and family plans. Then proceeded to talk about her ex for a substantial amount of the time. Luckily, my friend was adept at exiting from the situation and when she assumed there was to be a second date and asked when it would be, he replied “I’ll text you tomorrow,” and then he converted a goodnight kiss into a side-hug.
I don’t often go on dates. It’s not my thing, but I’ve been told many stories of scenarios similar to this and I must ask: What is wrong with women today? Don’t they know how to date at all? Do they not know that there is more to a date than themselves and their little bubbles?
It’s obvious that this woman had no intention of actually experiencing the good company of my friend. Her entire attitude is centered around her value. She believes that she is worth a great deal and inherently worthy of my friends time. She believes that just her presence was enough to warrant my friend paying for an expensive meal. At the same time she demonstrates his worth wasn’t enough to pay full price for grocery store baked goods. Like this woman, a lot of women today are pathetic narcissists. They don’t see any inherent value in a man. They don’t believe he is anything more than a way for her to get off, sexually or financially. This is the female imperative to the power of ten. Even something as personal and intimate as a date in order to get to know someone is reduced down to what can she get out of it.
In light of the story I was told earlier this evening, I am re-blogging an article written a couple years ago by The Private Man. His site is dedicated to dating divorcees, but perhaps this would have helped the women my buddy went out with….. Yeah, it probably wouldn’t have helped at all.
A fair number of women read my blog and for this, I am pleased. Normally, I write my posts with a male audience in mind. This post is an exception. I want women to read this very carefully and pass it along to their single friends. It’s important.
The biggest challenge is for women to re-adjust their approach to men. Women usually look for reasons to reject a man. They find the bad things first. This results in a lot of frustrated single women. To start the readjustment, I have this very simple mental exercise:
Every time you see and/or interact with a man, look for something good about him. This includes online dating profiles.
It can be something small.
It can be something big.
It has to be something.
Perhaps you see a sweaty landscaper with stained clothes working hard at his job. What’s good about him? He’s working hard. That’s a very good thing.
Maybe you have a male colleague who is not the most attractive of physical specimens. But you notice that he has a very nice voice and speaks very thoughtfully. Those are two good things.
You meet a man socially who has a very weak chin and terrible fashion sense. Yet you see that he has beautiful eyes, broad shoulders, and a great sense of humor. Wow, three good things!
You see an online dating profile with bad photos. The words, however, are well put together and are quite appealing. Good things, indeed.
This doesn’t mean changing your standards regarding the men you date. It only means noticing the positive elements in men. That’s the exercise. Simple, no?
Do this for a week. After the week passes, ask yourself this question: “Where are all the good men?”
Guess what, you just spent a week seeing them with your own eyes.
Feel free to copy and paste this into emails, blogs, forums, whatever.