George Jetson, the current point leader for the league, graciously passed along some racing tips to the rest of us slowpokes for tonight’s racing…how thoughtful. /s
In an effort to help you all gain some speed at tonight’s race(s), I’ve put together a list of ways to shed some weight (since we are all running under weight restrictions).
- Get a haircut – that’s right hippy boy, I’m talking to you.
- Remove any dead weight, watches, Chinese throwing stars, cell phones, nunchucks, keys, brass knuckles
- Wear clean underwear – seriously people, I shouldn’t even have to suggest this one.
- Remove any excess lint from your navel.
- Think about switching out your hoop piercings for studs (better aerial dynamics mean less drag).
- Much like horses at a race, nope, not going to even go there.
I hope you each find at least two or three of the above suggestions helpful. Also do not hesitate to pass along any I may have missed.
Good luck tonight and drive safe.