Racing Tips

George Jetson, the current point leader for the league, graciously passed along some racing tips to the rest of us slowpokes for tonight’s racing…how thoughtful. /s

In an effort to help you all gain some speed at tonight’s race(s), I’ve put together a list of ways to shed some weight (since we are all running under weight restrictions).

  1. Get a haircut – that’s right hippy boy, I’m talking to you.
  2. Remove any dead weight, watches, Chinese throwing stars, cell phones, nunchucks, keys, brass knuckles
  3. Wear clean underwear – seriously people, I shouldn’t even have to suggest this one.
  4. Remove any excess lint from your navel.
  5. Think about switching out your hoop piercings for studs (better aerial dynamics mean less drag).
  6. Much like horses at a race, nope, not going to even go there.

I hope you each find at least two or three of the above suggestions helpful. Also do not hesitate to pass along any I may have missed.

Good luck tonight and drive safe.