How do you tell a girl their expectations are too high? Don’t. You will never succeed.
Trying to talk a woman out of expecting a man to pay for the first dinner date, out of expecting a romantic marriage proposal, and out of expecting a diamond ring five-hundredths carats bigger than her sister’s ring is something Sisyphus wouldn’t attempt. I should know. I attempted it. It’s amazing at the logical gymnastics played in her mind and amazing that I haven’t learned my lesson yet to keep my own mouth shut.
Here’s what I was told the other day (with my thoughts): The guy should pay for the first date. She will offer to pay, but he should refuse. (It’s not really a genuine offer.) But if he accepts her offer than she’ll gladly pay. (Bullshit, it won’t be gladly.) Dutch is out of the question. (Yeah, because actual equality won’t be tolerated.)
I was also told that diamonds are the only option. Moissanites are shit. Cubic Zirconia is shit. Diamonds are forever. (I think she actually went into a brainwashed-like trance when she said ‘Diamonds are forever’. Her voice became a monotone, flat, robotic sound. Her eyes dilated as she stared off into space and repeated “Diamonds are forever.” One too many DeBeers commercials I suspect.) Any resistance to the fact that diamonds aren’t worth the money tail spins into a discussion of blood diamonds. ‘Get conflict free diamonds!’ (Somehow she thought my problem with the overpriced, overhyped rocks peddled by a bunch of gangsters was that they were socially unjust. News flash: I don’t give a shit about diamonds, blood or not.)
Next, I was told that any diamond ring bought needed to be .05 carats bigger than her sisters. (The sister’s ring was 1.2 carat, so her’s needs to be 1.25 carat. /facepalm I hope she never finds out her sister’s ring was fake.)
Finally, the conversation was summed up: She should be surprised during the proposal. (It shouldn’t be a surprise because they should be discussing marriage and their roles before the engagement.) But of course she’ll discuss marriage and roles with the guy beforehand! But that discussion isn’t a proposal. A surprise is needed for a proposal. A romantic surprise. (But it’s not a surprise because….<interrupted>) It should be a surprise!
Amazing thing #1: Mental Gymnastics.
Amazing thing #2: My inability to keep my big mouth shut.
Amazing thing #3: Talking to a modern woman about marriage and her
expectations requirements is the biggest marriage killer on the planet. The more she spoke the more MGTOW I went. Women, if you want guys to pony up and get hitched:
Shut. The. Hell. Up.
Update (2014-12-08): JudgyBitch had a post up on the 2nd for this very topic. She was probably writing it as I was floundering with my argument.