ProKart League 2014 – Week Six

The week that shall not be mentioned.

All those great points that I received last week, I lost spectacularly this time around. The new guys are progressing quickly. They are quickly learning to play defense and they play it well. The first race was Glen and I, bunched up behind both of the new guys. We never did pass them. My kart was broken the second race. I couldn’t get out of anyone’s way fast enough. The third race was the worst because I was stuck behind Tim again. I wasn’t bothered that he played defense very well, but I was annoyed that he’d brake at the absolute worst time, coming out of the top sweeping turn and into the back straight away. I had to slam on my brakes every lap to avoid hitting him at full speed.

I lost most of the points my boss gained for me last week. Came in last place all three races, and was very frustrated that I couldn’t get around the new guy.

Oh, well. It means the racing is getting interesting.

Race 2:


ProKart League 2014 – Week Five

I was on vacation and missed these last races but here are videos. I haven’t seen them yet, but I hear there was quite a bit of trading paint. My boss substituted for me this week and he did very well for someone that doesn’t race as often as our group does. “I” finished first in all three heats which translates to +205 R.P.M. points for me. That is a helluva night.

Race 1:

Race 2:

Race 3:

Racing Tips

George Jetson, the current point leader for the league, graciously passed along some racing tips to the rest of us slowpokes for tonight’s racing…how thoughtful. /s

In an effort to help you all gain some speed at tonight’s race(s), I’ve put together a list of ways to shed some weight (since we are all running under weight restrictions).

  1. Get a haircut – that’s right hippy boy, I’m talking to you.
  2. Remove any dead weight, watches, Chinese throwing stars, cell phones, nunchucks, keys, brass knuckles
  3. Wear clean underwear – seriously people, I shouldn’t even have to suggest this one.
  4. Remove any excess lint from your navel.
  5. Think about switching out your hoop piercings for studs (better aerial dynamics mean less drag).
  6. Much like horses at a race, nope, not going to even go there.

I hope you each find at least two or three of the above suggestions helpful. Also do not hesitate to pass along any I may have missed.

Good luck tonight and drive safe.

ProKart League 2014 – Week Three

We raced the Silverstone track again. It’s the same track layout as last week. I like Silverstone and didn’t do too bad. We had a sub this week as well. New girl, Ldubs, did very well on the third race. Her average lap time dropped 4 seconds from her first two races. A few more races and she’ll be racing with the rest of us.

Supposedly, I caused a minor spin-out 30 seconds into race two, pffft, I doubt it. I did cause a spin-out later on that race (@2:14). Andy just didn’t want to get out of my way, so I hooked his back tire and tried to spin him. Unfortunately, George Jetson and Jughead Jones snuck past me as my spin-out failed and I came to a complete stop as well.

We also changed our name from the George Jetson Leauge to Crash Test Dummies. I’m hoping the new name will be easier to market to new racers when we get the second league going this winter.